


Missing you

by bandss_perff



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Baekhyun x OC, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Slice of Life, chanbaek is not main ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 23:43:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18324356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandss_perff/pseuds/bandss_perff
Summary: I haven’t dated anyone since we broke up but you have, that definitely means you’ve moved on, but I heard from people that you haven’t? And I haven't moved on either?





	Missing you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Setty94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setty94/gifts), [trashsshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashsshi/gifts).



> for setty and trashssi
> 
> thank you for believing in me when i didn't. you guys have always been my inspiration to write. this may not be great but i wanted to do something for you guys. thanks for always cheering for me when i needed it.

Since he was little, Jongin knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with Baekhyun.

 

Jongin and Baekhyun had known each other since they were kids. Baekhyun had been Jongin’s first friend in kindergarten. Jongin’s shyness made it difficult to make friends easily, but Baekhyun had come into his life like a ball of sunshine and chaos. From weekly playdates to Baekhyun standing up and defending Jongin from bullies, there wasn’t a single thing Baekhyun wouldn’t do to make Jongin smile.

 

Throughout the years, Jongin had stuck next to Baekhyun like glue. Of course, Baekhyun didn’t mind (Jongin was his favorite person). From pranks to sleepovers, to telling each other everything, the two boys grew up glued to each other.

 

Somewhere along the line of growing up, Jongin fell in love with Baekhyun.

 

He doesn’t recall the exact moment when he fell in love with his best friend, but he does remember the moment when he realized he was in love with Baekhyun.

 

Somehow he wasn’t surprised when he realized it.

 

It was the summer going to junior year of high school.

 

Obviously, Jongin and Baekhyun planned to spend the whole summer together. I mean, they were best friends. For a while, Jongin had been feeling different about Baekhyun. Obviously, he realized that he had a crush on Baekhyun. His life wasn’t fanfic or a drama where the main character profoundly denied his feelings for the other character (well he did at first). Also, he didn’t ignore him in order to get over this crush on his best friend. In fact, he embraced the fact that he liked his best friend. Who wouldn’t have a crush on Baekhyun? After he accepted his feelings, he just kept on living life, except he had to be aware that all those cuddles, kisses on the cheeks, and all those moments that were not so platonic on Jongin’s side, they were platonic on Baekhyun’s side, even if he wanted to be more than just best friends. Just because his life wasn’t a drama, he wasn’t going to confess to Baekhyun. He didn’t want to lose him.

 

The summer went just as fast as it had come. From waking up early to staying out too late. The two best friends wished time would slow down. That summer, Jongin wished upon the stars that he would stay next to Baekhyun for the rest of his life. No matter if it was as friends or if it was more than that.

 

He remembered the first time he got jealous.

 

It was in their junior year of high school, which was also the first time Baekhyun got into a relationship.

 

How fun.

  
Jongin also remembers how Baekhyun was distant for weeks. He thought that Baekhyun had found out about his crush and he would panic because he didn’t know how Baekhyun had found out about his crush when he hadn’t told anyone. Turns out it was because he was talking to this girl who was classmates with them. He remembers when Baekhyun had found him sitting down outside. Baekhyun was pretty excited to tell him the news.

 

Devastated, Jongin left a confused Baekhyun and went home. Not caring that his emotions were clearly showing in his face or how he looked.

 

He felt awful.  
He was heartbroken.  
But mostly, he was just tired of feeling like this.

 

That night, Jongin found himself ignoring Baekhyun’s calls and text messages and eating ice cream and listening to sad songs to make himself sadder and realize that he lost his chance of telling his best friend how he felt.

 

Luckily for him, the next day was Saturday.

 

He avoided Baekhyun all weekend. Not that it was hard because he spent it with his girlfriend.

 

He didn’t ignore Baekhyun when he was realizing his feelings for Baekhyun because he didn’t want to mess up the most important thing to him; his friendship with Baekhyun, but he was ignoring him because he couldn’t deny that he was heartbroken. Not that it mattered because Baekhyun had begun hanging out with his girlfriend’s friend group, ignoring Jongin and making him befriend two guys who would become so important in his life, Kyungsoo and Sehun.

 

It felt like all those 10+ years of friendship were shattered by a relationship.

 

And the only thing that Jongin thought every time he thought about Baekhyun was that:

 

_He still hadn’t confessed his undying love for Baekhyun. He wanted to and has wanted it for forever, but he’s not ready._

 

The months went by and suddenly it was their senior year.

 

Jongin would always greet Baekhyun. They saw each other at school and outside, it was inevitable. But he would always hurriedly leave when he saw Baekhyun try to make small conversations with him.

 

He also remembers the night when he confessed to Baekhyun.

 

It was a rainy Friday night. His friends Kyungsoo and Sehun were busy. Jongin was laying in bed when he heard a knock on his door. When he went to open the door he saw a wet and shivering Baekhyun. Confused, he grabbed Baekhyun’s arm to pull him into his house. Jongin pushed him into his bathroom to take a shower. He grabbed clothes for Baekhyun and waited for him at his room. Lost in thought wondering what was Baekhyun doing in his house in the middle of the night in the cold rain. He didn’t even realize Baekhyun came to his room until he was laying a hand on Jongin’s cheek. Baekhyun then started talking. He talked about how he broke up with his girlfriend because he didn’t love her. Talked about how he regretted leaving Jongin alone. Talked about how he has been and is in love with someone else.

 

Needless to say, Jongin and Baekhyun ended up confessing their feelings towards each other.

 

That night, while the rest of the city was either asleep or partying. Two boys shared the love they felt towards each other and created something beautiful, a connection so rare that no other couple had.

 

Jongin realized it was too good to be true

 

Jongin and Baekhyun were now on their senior year of college. They couldn’t be more happy with their lives. Jongin chose dance as his major and Baekhyun had chosen art. When they went to college, it was obvious that they were going to move in together. They had a close group of friends that they loved and supported. College was tough, but that was expected. Money was tight, but they were happy with what they had. They loved each other too much.

 

Loved.

 

Jongin realized that this; his relationship, his life, his friends, everything was too good to be true.

 

At least his gut feeling wasn’t lying.

 

He doesn’t realize when things got so out of control.

 

One day, Baekhyun and he were cuddling while watching a movie and then the next day they were arguing. He was so furious that he didn’t even realize that they had been screaming at each other. He realized the severity of the argument until he was on the floor all alone crying.

 

Baekhyun had left.

 

He should have realized that it was coming.

 

He should have realized that it wasn’t just because of their last fight. He should have realized that they were having some problems but they both didn’t want to admit it. When he got into a relationship with Baekhyun, he thought it was going to be all rainbows and shit. He shouldn’t have made the assumption that just because they were best friends and that they knew each other more than they know themselves, their romantic relationship was going to be easy.

 

Needless to say, that night, ended up with two broken-hearted boys.

 

 

**_I haven’t dated anyone since we broke up but you have, that definitely means you’ve moved on, but I heard you haven’t? And I don’t think I have either?_ **

 

Jongin was eating lunch with Kyungsoo and Sehun when he found out the news that his ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend Baekhyun was dating someone. Some guy named Chanyeol or something. Jongin couldn’t be bothered to remember. Obviously, his mind’s first thought was, “he’s moved on.” However, he heard kept on listening to the conversation and he heard that he wasn’t over Jongin. That he was trying to move on from Jongin with Chanyeol. But Baekhyun wouldn’t use a person like that. Jongin knew him very well. His friends thought that he was over him.

 

But truthfully, he wasn’t.

  

**_I’m checking your social media every hour of the day and my heart is breaking all over again when I see you and your new boyfriend doing what we used to do._ **

 

It had been six months since he and Baekhyun had broken up. It had been three months since he graduated from college. Jongin still lived in the apartment that he and Baekhyun lived at because who was he kidding. He wasn’t over Baekhyun. They were best friends before they were boyfriends. He has so much history with him. He has loved that man since forever. He had a great job that he loved. He was a choreographer for idol groups. His friends tried to set him up with different guys but it never worked out. He didn’t want to date anyone else. He knew Baekhyun was over him. He saw all the posts that Baekhyun would post on his social media of him and Chanyeol. He would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that his heart would break every time he saw on social media how Baekhyun and his boyfriend would do all the things that he and Baekhyun did first, and how happy Baekhyun looked.

 

He knew it was time to moved on.

 

Yet he couldn’t.

 

He knew that he needed to be happy. He couldn’t stay like this forever. If Baekhyun had moved on and he was happy with his life, then why Jongin couldn’t do the same.

 

Oh yeah, because he was still in love with Baekhyun.

 

At that moment, Jongin vowed to move on, he vowed to be happy with himself, to be at peace with where he is in life, to love someone who will love him, respect, and cherish him. He vowed to move on from Baekhyun.

 

But most importantly, he vowed to love himself.

 

 

**_We only just started to repair our friendship and one day when we were parting ways after a brief conversation I started to say “I love-” but caught myself and now I’m going to throw myself off a cliff because of how awkward I am, then I started to ignore you but you tried to talk to me._ **

 

Jongin knew, he definitely knew that he was bound to see Baekhyun again.

 

It was inevitable.

 

While he considered Kyungsoo and Sehun as his best friends, he knew that in college when he and Baekhyun had been dating, Baekhyun’s friends had included Jongin, Kyungsoo, and Sehun into their friend group. So that meant that the group would want to hang out together. They obviously had been busy with their lives seeing as they had just got out of college and they didn’t have time to get all together. Jongin remembers that right after he and Baekhyun broke up, he skipped their hang out days by hiding in the library or dancing.

 

If he wanted to get over Baekhyun, he knew that he had to be strong if he had to see him.

 

When he saw Baekhyun for the first time after their breakup, he knew he was fucked.

 

They were having dinner at Minseok and Jongdae’s house.

 

Jongin had arrived early with Kyungsoo because Kyungsoo was the chef for the evening. Everyone had arrived except Baekhyun. Sehun and Junmyeon were watching videos on Sehun’s phone. Minseok and Jongdae were setting up the table. Jongin was on the couch seeing as he was terrible at cooking and was not allowed in the kitchen. Their friend Yixing was overseas and couldn’t attend. After an hour Baekhyun had arrived, but he was not alone.

 

All that Jongin could think was that Baekhyun looked even more beautiful than the last time he saw him. Even if the last time they saw each other they were crying and screaming at each other.

 

His smile widens when he saw Baekhyun, but it faltered when he saw Chanyeol.

 

The moment when they both locked eyes, it felt straight out of a romantic movie. It felt as if they were the only two people in the world as if time slowed down.

 

Jongin knew that no matter how much he tried, he knew he would never be over Baekhyun. And if he couldn’t be with him as his boyfriend, then he was willing to be there as his friend.

 

He sounded like how he did in high school.

 

It had been a few months since the dinner where he saw Baekhyun for the first time since they broke up. They had talked a few times. They had to be cordial with each other, seeing as they had the same friends. They never talked about what happened with them and why they broke up. It was always small talk and it was never by themselves, someone else had to be there. Currently, Jongin was in the supermarket buying groceries seeing as he procrastinated at the last minute. He was looking at the list he had made on his phone when he bumped into someone because he wasn’t looking. Apologizes were ready to leave his mouth when he looked up and locked eyes with Baekhyun. It was awkward for a few minutes. Not really expecting to see each other let alone bump into each other. They started making small talk and the awkwardness left and they were talking like if nothing had happened to them. In the middle of their conversation, Chanyeol called Baekhyun and Baekhyun said that he was on his way home.

 

Many thoughts ran through Jongin’s mind. Especially he couldn’t wrap his mind to the fact that Baekhyun was living with Chanyeol. He knew they were serious but he didn’t realize it was that serious. Baekhyun had kept on trying to talk to Jongin but he just wanted to go home, and Jongin made the mistake of saying “I love-” Realizing the fact that he almost told Baekhyun that he loved him, Jongin awkwardly left the supermarket with his bags as fast as he could.

 

He heard Baekhyun call his name but he couldn’t turn back.

 

He couldn’t.

 

**_We broke up forever ago, we no longer have feelings for each other,_ **

  
It had been a year and a half since Baekhyun and Jongin broke up. Not too long after he ran into Baekhyun at the supermarket, he had found out his ex was engaged. Not knowing whether it was him or Chanyeol that proposed killed him. He couldn’t ask his friends because he didn’t want them to look at him as if he hadn’t moved on.

 

Well technically, he hasn’t but what others don’t know, won’t hurt them.

 

It’s been a year and a half and he tried to move on by being in relationships. It never worked out. The longest relationship lasted six months and they were better off as friends. Of course, his best friends tried to set him up with other people. Trying to make sure he had someone and make sure he was happy.

 

He appreciates his best friends a lot.

 

**_so why are you on my doorstep in the middle of the night confessing your love?_ **

 

It was a Friday night and Jongin was at home chilling by himself watching the tv when he heard knocks on the door. Confused, seeing as he wasn’t expecting anyone that night, Jongin went to open the door.

 

His mind went blank.

 

He rubbed his eyes.

 

He slapped himself.

 

He really couldn’t believe it.

 

Byun Baekhyun, his ex-best friend, his ex-boyfriend was really here in the middle of the night in his apartment (technically their old apartment). Nobody spoke for a few minutes. Not knowing what to say or what to do, Jongin just stepped to the side to let Baekhyun in. As soon as they sat down on the couch, Baekhyun just poured out his feelings.

How he was still in love with Jongin.

 

How Chanyeol had asked him to marry him and he said yes because he didn’t know what else to say.

 

To how he broke up with Chanyeol months ago because he wasn’t in love with him.

 

How he couldn’t spend the rest of his life with someone who wasn’t Jongin.

 

How he made the biggest mistake of his life by walking out of Jongin’a life that day they had their fight.

 

How Jongin didn’t have to take him back because he didn’t deserve his love.

 

How instead of walking away, he should have fought harder for their relationship.

 

And finally, he talked about how he was going to spend the rest of his life making it up to Jongin.

 

Not letting Baekhyun finish, Jongin jumped straight into Baekhyun’s arms and kissed him as if his life depended it on it.

 

Jongin knew that they were going to be alright.

 

That night, the two souls intertwined their love like they did so many years ago. Knowing that they had to grow apart in order to grow up and grow back together. This time more mature. They just needed to grow up and see that life is not a fairytale.

 

They needed to learn from their mistakes.

 

That they needed to know life will not be easy.

 

That in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first.

 

That there will be hard times, but as long as you have the person you love, everything will be alright.

 

That they know and they had always known that they were always meant to be.

 

That they were soulmates.

**Author's Note:**

> not edited and it's still not 3 am when i uploaded it. thank you for the ones who read this lol. it's not good but i'm slowly going back to writing. also english is not my first language. we been knew. anyways like what a lot of ao3 writers say "comment and kudos are always appreciated".


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